I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
