The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Randomize
