Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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