bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
