i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
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