I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Randomize
