ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
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