i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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