I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Randomize
