he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
