So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
