You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
