party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
Ladies don't puke and tell
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
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