We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
nutella sex= disaster
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
should my penis look like a turkey
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Randomize
