I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
Randomize
