Fuck appropriateness.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Randomize
