ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
organizing the empties. That sober.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Randomize
