I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
