do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
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