im gay
i know
yea but for you.
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
