so explain again why im purple
no
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
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