when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Randomize
