Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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