distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
