with your own penis?
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize
