this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Randomize
