I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
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