you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
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