I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
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