That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
