You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
Randomize
