Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
