U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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