i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
