the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Randomize
