I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Randomize
