the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
Life is so much better after having sex.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
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