i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
