Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Randomize
