youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
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