After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
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