as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Randomize
