I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Randomize
