Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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