the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Randomize
