Please, let me fuck your mom
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
it was like eating out sand paper
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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