Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize