Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
you will always have a special place in my vag
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
Randomize
