well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Randomize
