Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize
