He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
