dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Mom said you looked used
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
