Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Randomize
