So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Randomize
