I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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