Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
Randomize
