I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
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