If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize
