guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Randomize