It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize