She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
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